I went for a walk with Robyn on Thursday.
No, wait.
Even as I typed that, I realized that I don't know what day it is. I went for a walk with Robyn two days ago. But if two days ago was Thursday, then today is Saturday, and why, then, is Barclay at work?
I checked. Today is Thursday. Two days ago, it was Tuesday.
Not that it matters even remotely. But let's try it again.
I went for a walk with Robyn on Tuesday. It was sunny and warm out, but I wore a blue striped sweater over my grey tank top just in case. She was five minutes early, because she is and always has been that kind of person, as far as I can tell. I was running late because I'm the same kind of person, only the exact opposite.
I blew out the front door like a whirlwind, Sullivan in one arm, his shoes tucked under my other one. I said, "Hello!" I said, "Let's go!" But then I paused. I felt like I was forgetting something.
I was. I was forgetting my house keys, a hat for Van, my phone, the diaper bag, and my shoes.
Yes, I was barefoot. And Robyn was five minutes early. And Robyn was wearing shoes.
Lest you blame it on me having a baby, I have to admit here that Robyn also has a baby, and Robyn's baby is four months younger than Sullivan, and Robyn's baby was wearing shoes too. There is no excuse, I just need to get my act together.
So the next day, yesterday, Wednesday, not that it matters, I went for a walk with Brittany. I was meeting her at the Marina, a short walk from my place. I was on time. I remembered my keys, and the diapers, and the hat, and shoes for both of us. I felt like Superwoman. I felt like Robyn.
I rounded the corner, about five blocks from my house, and I saw this:
It's a strange thing to go for a walk and see your clothes hanging from the trees. I looked around, almost expecting to see the rest of my outfit from the day before decorating the park. I was not Superwoman anymore. I was a crazy lady whose clothes were hanging from the trees.
No, wait.
Even as I typed that, I realized that I don't know what day it is. I went for a walk with Robyn two days ago. But if two days ago was Thursday, then today is Saturday, and why, then, is Barclay at work?
I checked. Today is Thursday. Two days ago, it was Tuesday.
Not that it matters even remotely. But let's try it again.
I went for a walk with Robyn on Tuesday. It was sunny and warm out, but I wore a blue striped sweater over my grey tank top just in case. She was five minutes early, because she is and always has been that kind of person, as far as I can tell. I was running late because I'm the same kind of person, only the exact opposite.
I blew out the front door like a whirlwind, Sullivan in one arm, his shoes tucked under my other one. I said, "Hello!" I said, "Let's go!" But then I paused. I felt like I was forgetting something.
I was. I was forgetting my house keys, a hat for Van, my phone, the diaper bag, and my shoes.
Yes, I was barefoot. And Robyn was five minutes early. And Robyn was wearing shoes.
Lest you blame it on me having a baby, I have to admit here that Robyn also has a baby, and Robyn's baby is four months younger than Sullivan, and Robyn's baby was wearing shoes too. There is no excuse, I just need to get my act together.
So the next day, yesterday, Wednesday, not that it matters, I went for a walk with Brittany. I was meeting her at the Marina, a short walk from my place. I was on time. I remembered my keys, and the diapers, and the hat, and shoes for both of us. I felt like Superwoman. I felt like Robyn.
I rounded the corner, about five blocks from my house, and I saw this:
It's a strange thing to go for a walk and see your clothes hanging from the trees. I looked around, almost expecting to see the rest of my outfit from the day before decorating the park. I was not Superwoman anymore. I was a crazy lady whose clothes were hanging from the trees.
I tentatively stepped forward and retrieved my sweater from its branch hanger. A girl strode past, staring inquisitively. I smiled at her and put my sweater on. I couldn't remember even taking it off the day before. Had I just shrugged it off and left it on the ground?
Apparently.
I am super bad at life.